A few weeks ago I turned 24, and for the first time in a long time I woke up feeling a significant change in myself. Like yes, this is how 24 feels.
It’s hard to explain but maybe a part of my brain that wasn’t fully developed suddenly came into age overnight. Who knows, maybe the second I turned 24, my frontal lobe finally reached maturity and I'll now be able to realize my full potential. All I know is, I felt fully present and confident in myself and thought 24 may just be my most kickass year to date.
This led me to reflect on 23, a year of big changes for me personally and professionally. I’ve made some major changes lately that have left me in a state of flux. Which, as someone who loves to plan their whole life in advance, is scary as hell!! We’re in the year of the rooster (my year according to Chinese astrology) which doesn’t mean I’ll be blessed with loads of luck. In fact, it actually means I should be more cautious, because luck is a fickle thing. So reading my Chinese astrology at the beginning of the year, which told me not to make any big decisions around March/ April, I went ahead and made a pretty big decision to move away from Ottawa and back home.
It’s like when someone tells you not to press the button… then you press the button.
So life is in flux and it all comes down to the fear of not knowing what the future holds. I think that’s the scariest part of getting older. I’ve always had this belief that I need to have my life together or at least on track by the age of 25, and as I’m now literally 1 year away from that, I’m starting to wonder, what does that even mean!?!? what does having your shit together look like exactly?
In my 24 years of life I’ve met so many amazing older women and something I’ve started to figure out is that life is not a straight linear line. Theres curves and turns and loop-de-loops which all serve to bring you to your final destination. Whatever that may be. I’m not saying its a smooth ride, there’s definitely going to be bumps along the road, some may even encounter massive potholes but I think those are the experiences we learn from the most.
"Comparison is the thief of joy"
- Theodore Roosevelt
Instead of trying to hold my life up to some impossibly arbitrary standard of having my shit together by 25, I’m just going to focus on being happy and having incredible life experiences. Sure, I may not be exactly where I want to be right now, but my current situation is not my final destination. As Theodore Roosevelt said, comparison is the thief of joy.
I stumbled upon this quote on Instagram a few months ago and it’s quickly become my current motto; “ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it”. So that’s what 24 feels like. I’m certainly not confident in all my decisions, and I still have no clue what the future holds but what I do know is that life is basically a sum of your choices and experiences. Hopefully, my future self will be impressed by the ones I've made so far.
On the subject of choices, can you believe my sister almost had to force me to wear this BCBG dress to my birthday dinner? I was shopping for another dress right up to a few hours before my dinner. So happy I didn't find a replacement, I love how these pictures came out.
xoxo - B